Make Your Family Vacation a Great One
Who doesn’t want a fun time away from the stresses of daily life?
Unfortunately, many of us tend to carry emotional baggage as well as our suitcases along on the trip. Relationships that are already strained can reach a breaking point instead of mending. If people become over tired or bored, negativity can loom like a storm cloud on the horizon. Too much close proximity can rub r personalities the wrong way like sandy grit in the swimsuit.
What was meant to be a fun family time can end up being a trip you wish you never made.
However, there are practical ways to help minimize the stress and strain. Balancing schedules and idiosyncrasies with spontaneous changes, acceptability, and tolerance can make the experience more enjoyable for every family member, no matter their age.
Here are three things to consider when planning your next outing together, whether it is for two hours, two days, or two weeks.
1. Pacing & Flexibility
Plan less: Over-scheduling can lead to mental and physical exhaustion, which can breed meltdowns in family members of any age from toddler to grandparent. Vacation is the time to unwind, not wind up! Consider engaging in one major activity per day and leave the rest of the time open for relaxation and spontaneity.
Respect natural rhythms: Honor the varying energy levels of your kids and spouse. Do not schedule early morning activities if you have teenagers who may want to sleep in. Likewise, planning a long activity after lunch with toddlers or older adults who need afternoon naps can result tears, testiness, or tantrums.
Allow kids the freedom to explore their interests: Give older kids or teens some autonomy in choosing what activities might be of interest to them. Plan a daily activity that sparks Tom’s interest in music, then the next day, go to a ball game to satisfy Sandy who is into sports, and perhaps the following day, visit a museum or national landmark for history buff Mary. Encourage each one to positively experience what excites their siblings and to respect each person’s individual interests. And don’t forget their favorite foods. Let each family member pick the dinner spot or lunch stop on their special day.
2. Daily Sanity Savers
Pack endless snacks: Hunger can lead to grouchiness no matter what age. Always keep protein-rich snacks, water, and easy treats on hand for road trips. It is easier on the digestion and the budget than frequent fast-food detours.
Schedule alone time: It is okay if part of the day everyone doesn’t engage in the same activity. Perhaps daughters and moms can go shopping or a spa while sons and dad go fishing. Clue into when adults and kids both need their social batteries recharged.
Pre-plan your de-trigger buttons. Agree to not “go there” when it comes to rehashing sore spots, previous conflicts, differences in religion, lifestyle, or tastes. Emphasize mutual respect and courtesy and honor each person’s uniqueness as a valued part of the family experience.
3. Minimize Road Stress
Travel during off-peak times: Whenever possible, travel around your children's regular schedules to maintain their daily rhythm. Avoiding being stuck in crawling rush hour traffic that can raise the driver’s blood pressure and make kids squirm and whine, “Are we there yet?”.
Allow extra time: Build time into the travel schedule for pit stops and spontaneous “let’s stop here” suggestions. When traveling long distances with multiple kids, let each one take turns deciding where to stop next every few hours. This can be done ahead of time, or as they travel and view billboards. Stretching the legs and inhaling something other than car AC can be a mood enhancer for everyone, especially the driver.
Keep entertainment simple: A drawing tablet, pre-loaded games, and a few small, wrapped "surprise" toys for the journey can be a lifesaver for smaller children on long trips. Old fashion car games such as “I spy” or finding the alphabet on license plates can encourage interaction. For older kids and teens, allow them to listen to their own music or videos for a while in between stops of interest.
There is no such thing as the perfect family or perfect vacation. Being realistic about expectations while encouraging positive outlooks and mutual respect can go a long way to making this trip one you will all want to remember for years to come.
With insight and planning, your family can have an enjoyable time this summer.
Our therapists are experts in family dynamics and conflict resolutions. We are here to assist you before or after your vacation.