Why Do I Have to Struggle?
Personal struggles are rarely fun. Whether you are going through a personal tragedy, being unfairly treated, dealing with a medical issue, or watching a loved one battle something painful, the resulting struggle may seem pointless. But the truth is, it can be just the opposite.
A STORY OF PURPOSEFUL STRUGGLE
A little girl noticed a cocoon dangling on the stem of a bush in her backyard. It wiggled, and as she watched more intently, a Monarch butterfly struggled to emerge. It fought and fought, barely making in progress. The girl felt sorry for the butterfly, so she gently peeled away the cocoon to free it.
She didn’t know that butterflies have to struggle out of the cocoon in order to strengthen their wings enough to fly. By “helping” the butterfly, she actually damaged it, dooming it to crawl on the ground for the rest of its life. The butterfly would never be able to do what it had been designed to do.
WE HUMANS CAN LEARN FROM THE BUTTERFLY
Whether we are going through a tough time, or watching a loved one go through one, the desire for someone to “do something” and take over the struggle is tempting. However, personal growth comes out of struggles and hardships. Think back on your own experiences. When things came easy for you, it may have seemed fairer, even more enjoyable, but did you learn much from it?
The lessons that strengthen us as we fight to break free now may give us the gumption to battle whatever life hands us late on. In order to one day soar above our problems, we must work through them.
POSITVE BENEFITS FROM STRUGGLE
·Struggle Strengthens the Brain: Neuroscience shows that "productive struggle" triggers neuroplasticity, which basically means that it can help in re-wiring the brain to become faster and stronger at problem-solving.
Struggle Builds Resilience: Overcoming obstacles provides psychological "calluses" that prepare you for future, more daunting challenges. We all learn from our challenges more than our triumphs.
Struggle Clarifies Values: Hardships may force you to reflect on what truly matters and thus assist you in redefining your priorities in order to live more authentically.
Struggle Fosters Compassion: Having survived your own depths can lead to a deeper understanding, sensitivity, and compassion for the struggles of others. While you should never try to “take it over” for them, you can empathize and encourage them.
Struggle Can Be A Sign of Progress: Struggle help you actually pushing boundaries and continue growing, rather than staying stagnant, just like the butterfly bursting from its cocoon.
OUR THERAPISTS CAN HELP
Our therapists won’t take on the role of the little girl. That might hinder your personal development. But we can help you discover the inner strength you may not realize you possess and also help you develop the tools to better handle the struggles you are having now and may have in the future. Together, we can turn that struggle into success and the obstacles into opportunities. But it will take time and effort.
If a loved one is struggling and you are not sure what is the best way for you to help, our therapists are trained in guiding you in that aspect as well. Together, we can help the struggler develop the strength break out of their cocoon and soar through life, better prepared for the winds of time.
We provide a confidential, safe place to explore your emotions and meet your needs. We offer virtual or in-person sessions to accommodate your schedule and get you started in your mental health journey. Reach out today to schedule a session with one of our counselors.